Feel free to steal my flyers off this page to share with your friends. People have ripped off my crappy drawings for their own fliers, I don't know why but at least give me some credit before you do!!

 

With the exception of the Coaster Brake Challenge, all events are free.

 

Read each description thoroughly.  Some events involve a fair amount of cycling fitness and some require none.

 

All involve a bit of peril.

 

I don’t live in a Nerf world.

 

You may get hurt, it does happen.

 

All events are meant to be inclusive but many are esoteric by nature.

 

How much fun you have is up to you. All I can do is provide a forum for fun, you are part of the equation.

 

I have loaner bikes for most of my events, get in touch if you need one.

 

Weekly/Regular Rides:

 

BMX Tuesday.

 

Every Tuesday we leave at 7:15 SHARP. Rain cancels. 24 and 26 BMX cruisers will be the bike of choice. You don’t have one? No problem. Ride what you got. Average mileage is 20, we go inthe dirt and climbing is near always involved. Oldest BMX ride in LA, the hardest and subsequently, the hardest. We stop somewhere for food.

 

S.C.U.M.B.G.S

 

Random Sundays. Off road mountain biking. Intermediate to advanced rides. E-mail invite, so contact me to get on the list. Rides vary in length and hardness; you will be given a description. Join if you want or not. No pressure. We meet at 7 am and roll out at 7:30. Rides are typically 2-3 hours.

 

 

Coaster Brake Challenge 35: Click flyer for more info...

 

 

Jan 4th, 11th, 18st, 25th. On Sundays. Coaster Brake only single speed only off road rally. Heat winner and overall winner at end of the series. I have loaner bikes.

 

Klunker run is a vintage mtb ride. The emphasis is on pre-cursor repurposed cruisers but any bike is fine. Drawing the line as to what is vintage and what is not is up to heated debate, I’d say 1990 would be fair but if you have the newest carbon fiber wonder bike and want to roll with us I have no problem with that. 

Meet point 7:00 AM:
Rain or Shine! Real riders ride in weather!
We ride at 7:30 am sharp. 

Caballero Canyon Trailhead 4047 Reseda Blvd, Tarzana, CA 91356

BOMB SQUAD!

This is a fun event. It is not a race, but a rally, or a group of idiots that take 16" Barbie bikes and point them downhill in masse...  

How old are you?

There is no age limit on a good time.

The rules are simple:

16" kids bike in unmodified bone stock configuration.

Yes, we know you can't fit on it, neither can we.

You may add brakes.

Nothing more. (Ed)

You bike should be 5.99 at the local Goodwill...not something purpose built for downhill. 

Full face helmet is recommended, and a helmet is mandatory!

Other protection, motorcycle leathers, knee and elbow pads, bubble wrap (it's happened) is highly encouraged because...

road rash sucks.

 

Need a loaner? Let me know, I have many!

See you then!! :) Finishers get a sticker.

 

 

 

The Mullet Race! This event has been moved to a new slot for something more rad.... see flyer.

Many  fun miles  (about 13-14) on a vintage steed, I'm going to say 1994 This means No V-brakes, Clip in pedals, and a very limited selection of suspension, real riders would rock the full rigid. Carbon fiber? What's that?  Bring your steel steed, your mullet, and some Oakley Blades, decked out in some neon and get ready to rumble!!  Course should take 2-3 hours...more if you have not ridden your bike since it was new...

 

KLUNKER WEIRLDZ!!!!

April 5th

 

New event.

This event will take a good chunk of the day if you go to the after party. If you just do the ride and bounce, you can be out my late am, early noon time I am estimating. If you do the whole thing, we should be done by late afternoon. It is free of course. I may have shirts for 20 bucks and patches to buy totally optional to help offset costs.

It is a downhill rally. Ride at your own risk, there will be plenty of chances to get in over your head. Minimal pedaling, we will shuttle/caravan to the top. We will not be riding to the top. This makes it more accessible for people that have wanted to do one of my events but don't have the oftentimes crazy fitness level required. You have some bike handling chops, you're good for this one.

It will be fun. You don't need a lot of cycling fitness to do this, just a lack of self preservation. :)

There is some driving from the meet point where we'll consolidate down to as few a vehicles as possible, It will be chance to make new friends. From there, we go to our drop off point.

There will be a free after party at the finish.  I will have food and some libations. I will make the famous hummus.

Bikes are limited to 26" wheeled bikes only. 27.5? 29'r-nope. Not allowed.

There will be three categories as follows:

1. Coaster brake only: No hand brakes, single speed only. A bike from any year, brand new is welcome. BE SURE TO REPACK YOUR HUB WITH GOOD HIGH TEMP GREASE!! Or you will die.

2. Klunker. A repurposed or custom cruiser frame, BMX cruiser that has been altered with gears and hand brakes or single speed with hand brakes. Need not be vintage but more choice if it is. Newer bikes are welcome as well as new  constructions as long as they have 26" wheels.

3. Vintage Mountain Bike:  1994 or older.

NO CLIP IN PEDALS ALLOWED!

BRAKES ARE LIMITED TO: Coaster, Canti, Caliper, U-Brake, Roller Cam, Drum

NO DISC BRAKES, NO V-brakes (linear pull) don't send me pictures of bikes that came with this stuff before 1994, I don't care-get bent-thems the rulez. Deal with it.

Quill stems are the flavor but I won't turn someone away with a threadless set up, not that it is not the ethos, which is to enjoy old bikes and shun bike industry lame techno advances with "new standards" i.e. bullshit that does not work.

Don't be a lame and try and crash the party with your trendor 650b bike with disc brakes that looks like a Diamond Back Topanga, come dressed for the party. Violators will be given JAFO (just another fucking observer) tags. Yeah we won't turn you away unless you have an e-bike but you know if the event calls for formal attire (in this case old 26" wheeled steeds) then you come correct.

There will be prizes for best crash, heaviest bike, most bling, biggest pile etc. Buttons, maps, report cards etc.

Ride ends at hang out/party spot. It will be a breach of decorum not to add your bike to the bike pile.

 

Meet point is:

Starbuck so you can poop.

23792 Newhall Ave, Santa Clarita, CA 91321

SHIRTS AND PATCHES!

Totally optional to buy. I'll have them at the event cash only in person or get your now..

 

                                                                                                                                                                                               options/sizes
                                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                                                                           OPTIONS SIZES
                                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                                                       

Alp d' 818/Hell Ride

 

NEW ROUTE!!!!!!

We go up and down, up and down and up and down across  mountain ranges in the sfv....and beyond! There are paved sections, gravel and fire road sections, single track and hike-a-bike sections. Bring water and snacks, and at least one tube. It is a group ride, but a drop ride. Route maps will be given out. Still has a pace, you'll most likely fall into your pace group. After party afterwards.

There will be no dumbphone mapping turn by turn bullshit provided. Being lead by the nose by some little box IS NOT ADVENTURE. I will provide a turn by turn paper ride slip for your reference. You will have to use your brain and figure stuff out on this ride, that for some, is the the thing that makes it truly hellatious.

 

 

Solstice Ride.

 

 

An overlap ride from BMX Tuesday. We climb and cross the spine of the Santa Monica Mountains. Bring lights. The ride is hard. The view: Priceless. We roll on BMX cruisers but roll on what you have we don’t care.  Meet at the shop 7pm, we roll out at 7:15 SHARP!

Coaster Brake Challenge 36

 

Flyer forth coming...

 

 

 

 

July 5th 12th 19th and 26th

 

more sweat, snot, sideways sliding fun off-road armed only with a coaster brake.

 

So Cal Single Speed Championship

 

Single speed mtb race miles are around 12-14 some beast climbs and lots of chances to get lost. Crappy hand drawn maps will be provided. I have loaner bikes, hit me up if you want one. Hang out trailside party time afterwards.

LABOR DAY September 7th

What:

 
The Fire Road Cruise is just that a "cruise" on streets and fire roads. The mileages is long, the pace even not too fast, the views are great. How much fun you have is up to you. Any kind of bike is welcome, we will be hitting some hills and some dirt, most people will be riding a BMX styled cruiser, klunker, vintage mtb or other bike but we don't care what you bring as along as you show up ready to have fun!!!
 

 
We do the ride, we will have route maps and stop once for a small amount of time for restroom and water refill. It will most likely be hot. We are leaving earlier than we used to to cut out the heat somewhat.

 
Bring stuff to fix a flat and some water. Tune your bike up beforehand.

 
Finishers will get a button, quitters will not.

 
BB_Q afterwards-free. I will have some beverages, but the SCUMBAGS drink a lot. Stores are close by....
 

 
When:

 
Sep 1st, 7am show up, 8 am roll Yes it is a Holiday on a Monday.  We leave on time.
 

 
Where:
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hacktacular

Hacktacular 14

October 4th

FLYER AND MEET UP TBA

A Sidehack is a 20" BMX bike with a sidecar attached to it. You have a driver and a monkey (the guy in the sidecar) They both have to work together to maneuver the bike around by leaning and hanging out to alter the weight of the bike. Taken from motocross from the 1970's, BMX sidehacks had a brief time in the seminal days of BMX riding, racing, and development before fading back to obscurity.

You'll need:

A side hack. Don't have one? I have two loaners. If you need one let me know, I can bring it to the meet point.

A helmet. Gloves and other protection is a great idea. Sidehacks are a little unwieldy and you can lose control.

Water and snacks will be provided at no cost.

 

SCUMBAG Weekend!

 

October 9, 10, and 11th

 

A brief description of what it will entail:

Deth Moto

7pm October 9th

Ride 20 bmx bikes on the "dick track" in Paul's backyard

keep going! The only rule is you can't be down for longer than 30 seconds.

Either,

you die.

the bike dies.

final three is a foot down if needed.

winner gets a trophy, bragging rights, cool scars etc.

Bikes are provided.

It is a "party" but it is at my house so no d-bags ok?

 

Nite ride

October 10th.

7pm gather 7:30 pm roll out.

Meet a Caballero Canyon on Reseda Blvb. South of Ventura Blvd

We ride to the hub junction for a night time view and hand out with friends.

Bring lights.

Drinks & Snacks if you want them.

 

Climb to SCUMBAG Pointe

October 11th

7 am gather 7:30 roll out.

Our yearly pilgrimage to the SCUMBAG Pointe, where it all began many years ago. About a 4 mile fire road climb.

Meet a Stough Canyon Trailhead in Burbank.

Bring food drink and a jacket or something as we are going to hang out at the top for...some time.

 

All are rain or shine, a true SCUMBAG is not afraid to get muddy!

A whole weekend of two wheeled fun and hijinks. If you don't get hurt you will be pleasantly tired!

 

 

October 25th

 

BOMB SQUAD!

This is a fun event. It is not a race, but a rally, or a group of idiots that take 16" Barbie bikes and point them downhill in masse...  

How old are you?

There is no age limit on a good time.

The rules are simple:

16" kids bike in unmodified bone stock configuration.

Yes, we know you can't fit on it, neither can we.

You may add brakes.

Nothing more. (Ed)

You bike should be 5.99 at the local Goodwill...not something purpose built for downhill. 

Full face helmet is recommended, and a helmet is mandatory!

Other protection, motorcycle leathers, knee and elbow pads, bubble wrap (it's happened) is highly encouraged because...

road rash sucks.

 

Need a loaner? Let me know, I have many!

See you then!! :) Finishers get a sticker.

 

 

 

Vintage Mountain bike ride, comb out that mullet!

Meet point 7:00 AM: Roll out 7:30

 

Rain or Shine! Real riders ride in weather!
 
Caballero canyon on the south side of Reseda Blvd, south of Ventura Blvd. Look for the sign on the left hand side, we gather there.

 

Med skill level ride:

 

Up the Cab to the Hub junction, back  the way we came to the Nike missile base, then we take Farmers for some fun single track, then down the cab again. 12-14 miles, not too hard, mostly fire roads. Nike Missile base has a toilet and water if you need it. Make sure your bike is in good working order, bring an extra tube and be ready to have some fun!!!

 

 

 

 

 Turkey Day Ride November 26th

Solstice Ride.

 

 

An overlap ride from BMX Tuesday. We climb and cross the spine of the Santa Monica Mountains. Bring lights. The ride is hard. The view: Priceless. We roll on BMX cruisers but roll on what you have we don’t care.  Meet at the shop 7pm, we roll out at 7:15 SHARP!

 

2027

We meet at The Orange line parking lot Victory and Balboa 7am brrr! Roll out at 7:30 Route varies. Fun pace but we climb!